One can’t help but feel the beauty of a friendship in Randy Newman’s song in Toy Story: “You’ve Got a Friend in Me.”
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead
And you’re miles and miles from your nice warm bed
You just remember what your old pal said
Boy you’ve got a friend in me
Yeah you’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You got troubles and I got ’em too
There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you
We stick together, we can see it through
‘Cause you’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too
Maybe
But none of them
Will ever love you the way I do
It’s me and you, boy
And as the years go by
Our friendship will never die
You’re gonna see it’s our destiny
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
There is something about friendships that is really beautiful, isn’t it? Can you think of a friend who meant the world to you as you were growing up? What memories fill your senses as you think of your friend? The peace and joy of being in the presence of a good friend is hard to put into words. In the presence of a good friend, one can feel completely safe to lower our guard, to be silly, and to be our true selves.
Aristotle speaks about having three types of friendships:
1. Friendship of Utility – This is the type of friendship that are formed because of working on a same project together at work or at school. This friendship is primarily build on the fact that the friendship serves a benefit to one another. After these friends work together on a common task, they may not necessarily continue being friends.
2. Friendship of Pleasure- These are the friendships that are formed because of enjoying the same hobby such as playing ball or going on traveling excursions, etc. Once those fun times or activities are no longer shared, these individuals may no longer continue being friends.
3. And lastly, Friendship of Virtue. This is the type of friendship that wills the good of the other. Friendship of virtue are friends who deeply care about one another and want the very best for each other. Friendships such as these do exist, but they may be harder to come by, as per Aristotle. Regardless, you are worthy of such friendship.
It is in friendships that we discover about our own selves. Cultivating friendships takes time. It does not happen overnight. In order to form a friendship of virtue both individuals would have to be seeking to live a life of virtue.
Cultivating friendships also involves that we are vulnerable enough to allow that person into our lives. Sometimes it can feel risky to allow people into our lives that goes beyond the superficiality of just being friends on social media. The good thing is that you can often times know a person by how they are in small matters. You can tell the qualities and traits of a person by being with him/her and in how they treat you and treat others. If the person is not to be trusted with small matters, it is a good clue that the person may not be trustworthy in bigger matters.
How Exactly is Friendship Related to Your Mental Health?
Forming friendships not only gives you the opportunity to give of yourself meaningfully to the life of another, but also to receive the goodness of another human being. Friendships have an amazing ability to nourish us. Virtuous friendships can lead us to grow into being a better version of ourselves. Having virtuous friends also gives us the benefit of being buffered by the challenges that life at times throws our way. Having strong friendships can also lead to stronger immune system and lower your chances of depression.
With all that being said, how do you wish to cultivate friendships of virtue? Which one of your friends has helped you to be a better version of yourself?
If you would like to learn more about my mental health services, you can reach me at sherin@catholictherapistcenter.com or at 562 267 9777 to schedule a free initial consultation.
Disclaimer: The content on this website is not medical advice or treatment. Please seek your physician with any questions related to your medical condition. The content and the resources provided on this website should not be used to substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified therapists.