We all have thoughts throughout our day. We have thoughts about the morning coffee, about the traffic and of being with family. We have kind thoughts, thoughts of frustration, anxious thoughts, loving thoughts and much more. Have you ever paid attention to your own thoughts? What thoughts come up for you as you see these images?
How about this one?
Or this one?
Photo Credit: TreVoy Kelly. Pixabay.
Your thoughts may be similar to these:
Regarding picture 1:
“That coffee looks so yummy.”
“I prefer tea.”
Regarding picture 2:
“I hate traffic.”
“That looks like the 405 Freeway.”
Regarding picture 3:
“They are so beautiful!”
“Such a good family picture.”
If you didn’t have the same set of thoughts as what is listed above, that is okay. Our thoughts vary a lot based on our past experiences, culture etc. Not only that, our thoughts make an impact on our feelings. Examples of feelings can be of feeling happy, angry, sad, afraid, surprised, shocked, excited and much more.
For example, the thought, “I hate traffic,” may led to feeling irritated, especially when you are sitting in traffic.
Alright, now you know that your thoughts are impacting your feelings. But, it doesn’t just stop there. Your thoughts and feelings impact your actions as well. Examples of actions include: running, singing, screaming, laughing, smiling, researching, throwing etc.
Suppose you are sitting in traffic and you have a thought, “I hate traffic,” and you are starting to get irritated; how might you act in that situation? Would you be turning up the radio and singing? Would you be yelling at the driver who tried to squeeze in to your lane? Or maybe you call up one of your loved ones to chat on the drive home?
Bottom line: Your thoughts impact your feelings and your actions.
This understanding of what we think about a situation, impacts our feelings and our actions can be credited to Dr. Aaron Beck. Dr. Beck is globally recognized psychiatrist and is known as the father of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
Here are some images for all you lovely visual learners out there:
So how does this triangle play out in our lives?
Suppose, you see a sign that states “SALE” on your favorite item at REI, or any of your favorite stores. Alright, so let’s have a look at how this situation could play out on this triangle, shall we?
As shown in the image above, the thought, “That is such a good deal,” led to feeling excited, which led to the action of buying your favorite item.
Now let’s suppose you decided to change your thought.
So, you decided to change your initial thought from “That is such a good deal!” to “I actually have plenty of this item at home, I don’t need it.”
That is pretty good self control you got there.
Anyway, this new thought impacted your feelings from “excited,” to feeling “peaceful,” about your decision. When the thoughts and feelings changed, you ended up looking at other items in the store instead of buying that item on the sale.
Bottom line: We have the capability to monitor our thoughts and decide to change it. Once we change our thoughts, it also impact our feelings and our actions. This is a pretty big deal, if you think about it.
We all have thoughts about our vocation (single life, married life or religious life), our health, our friendships, our family, our community and more. Many of our thoughts may be healthy thoughts. But, some of the thoughts we tend to have about these topics could be really unhealthy thoughts.
How can thoughts be unhealthy?
Good question. Well, for one, thoughts are unhealthy when they are untrue, as in, they are not based on facts. Second, even if the thought is true, it may be unhelpful to repeat the thought over and over again in our head.
For example, a man with a great career may say to himself, “I’m always working, I don’t spend enough time with my family.” Now that thought may be completely true for this man, but saying it over and over again is probably not going to be the most helpful when he is at a meeting. At times though, it could feel really difficult and tiresome trying to change unhealthy thoughts. As the famous saying goes, misery loves company. So the unhealthy thoughts may end up grouping with other unhealthy thoughts such as, “I am not a good spouse,” and “What if my wife gets fed up with me?”
These unhealthy thoughts could cause a lot of feelings of guilt, sadness, worry and overall a lack of fulfillment in one’s life. These unhealthy thoughts could cause a lot of heaviness in one’s life and affect one’s overall mental health and increase stressors in one’s relationships. That is where Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be helpful.
So, what is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?
In a nut shell, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a treatment that helps individuals to recognize their own thought patterns and to change thoughts that are not true or are not helpful. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been linked to successfully treat individuals with anxiety disorders, substance use and more. One of the core principles of this treatment is that people can create new thinking patterns and learn to cope better with the challenges in life.
With the help of a mental health professional, such as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker or a Marriage and Family Therapist or Clinical Psychologist, you can become more aware of your own thought patterns. Your therapist can also help you with creating new thought patterns that are true and helpful in living a healthier life. If you are having difficulty narrowing down a therapist, you can gain some tools to do so by checking out this blog .
In Summary: Our thoughts make an impact on our feelings and our actions. We all have thoughts that are inaccurate and/or unhelpful. Inaccurate thoughts are thoughts that are not based on facts. Essentially, there is not enough “proof” to indicate that they are accurate. While unhelpful thoughts may be accurate, it may not be helpful to repeat such thoughts over and over again. Unhealthy thoughts could cause feelings of excessive worry, sadness, guilt, and lead to more stress in one’s relationship with others. With the help of a mental health professional who provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, you can gain more awareness of your own thought patterns and change unhealthy thought patterns.
Disclaimer: The content on this website is not medical advice or treatment. Please seek your physician with any questions related to your medical condition. The content and the resources provided on this website is for informational purposes only. Please use discretion in how you utilize the provided resources.
You can contact me at sherin@catholictherapistcenter.com should you have any questions regarding my services.