There are many ways we might try to make sense of the past trauma. Some of the common examples of trauma include being physically, sexually, or emotionally abused. Needless to say, trauma has a short term effect, such as through physical or emotional pain. But, it could also have long term effects on your relationships, your health, and on the brain. Often times, trauma shifts the way one might view self, others and the world.
Each person’s response to the traumatic event can vary. Some of the factors that could impact a person’s response to a traumatic event could be if she/he has been through other traumatic events in the past, how the loved ones responded to hearing about the trauma, how old the person was at the onset of trauma, how many years the trauma lasted and much more. Overall, human beings are very resilient and can live a healthy life given that the trauma is addressed with the support of loved ones, their community and with professional support.
If your life is a puzzle the traumatic events are only few of the pieces that make up the larger puzzle.
Thoughts about the Past Trauma
Some of the possible thoughts that may come up about the past trauma could include:
“I just want to put all that stuff behind me and move on.”
“There is no way I could make sense of that terrible thing that happened to me.”
“I don’t trust anyone because of what happened to me.”
“I should have done XYZ and it wouldn’t have happened.”
“Because of what happened to me, I will never be a good enough spouse or a parent.”
Your worth and dignity is much more than the sum total of your experiences.
Same Trauma, Different Narrative.
Our thoughts impact how we feel and how we act in the world. Two people could go through the same traumatic event, such as being in a really scary car accident and could have a very different narrative or story about it. Person A might say that such accidents rarely happen and continue to take the same route on a daily basis. While Person B might say that really scary things happen even when we are careful and might choose to avoid the same route all together and limit driving. Notice that the two people who were in the same accident ended up having a very different narrative and response following the accident.
Though the event itself is important, what is also important is the meaning making, the narrative or the story the person created following the event. After having been in a terrible accident Person A might think that the world can be a little scary, but things will be okay as long as he is being careful. So, he decides to keep doing his weekly routine. While Person B might be feeling a lot of guilt, and very scared and thinks that another accident could suddenly happen. So, he decides to change his route of driving and limit his driving. As I said earlier, two different people, who experienced the same traumatic event could have very different responses and narrative.
You are the author who can write and rewrite how that traumatic event is saved in your brain.
Wanting to Avoid Reminders of the Trauma.
It is normal to want to avoid talking about the trauma. But healing requires that you talk about the trauma with someone you trust. When it comes to cuts or wounds in our body, it causes more pain to wash out a cut before placing the bandage. But, if we do not go through the pain of washing out the cut, it could possibly cause an infection. Similarly, we might try to not seek help from a mental health professional because talking about the trauma could cause discomfort, and pain. But if trauma is not addressed, it could possibly cause further problems.
Feelings Associated with the Trauma.
Some feelings that might come up after the traumatic event include numbness, fear, anger, sadness, confusion, disgust, guilt and much more. The range of feelings and the intensity of your feelings could vary. Reminders of the traumatic event could include the memory of the things you saw, heard, tasted, touched, or smelled during the traumatic event. Your current life may trigger the memory of the past trauma and bring about strong feelings related to the trauma.
Actions We Take to Cope with Trauma.
Some people who have experienced trauma may be able to easily obtain support from their family or friends or from their community. Compassion and support from family, friends and the community can play a huge role in the healing process. Sometimes people deal with the trauma by trying to numb the pain or push down the memories related to the pain. Some may lead to using alcohol or drugs in an effort to drown out the memories of the traumatic event. Unfortunately, that leads to further problems.
“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” – Desmound Tutu
Getting Professional Help for Trauma
Seeking therapy or mental health services from a qualified professional can be an important part of the healing process. With the support of a therapist, you can talk about the traumatic event at your own pace, and learn to form healthier relationship with yourself, others and the world. In therapy, you can also learn skills to deal with the reminders of the trauma in healthy ways. Remember that the traumatic event(s) in your life is part of your story, but is not the full story of who you are.
Should you wish to learn more about my mental health services, you can reach me at sherin@catholictherapistcenter.com or at 562 267 9777 to schedule a free initial consultation.
Disclaimer: The content on this website is not medical advice or treatment. Please seek your physician with any questions related to your medical condition. The content and the resources provided on this website should not be used to substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified therapists.